The Best Way To Respond to Criticism

"If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim." -Margaret Thatcher

"You've got a pride issue." 

I couldn't believe my ears! My wife and I were talking in the parsonage of my first pastorate out of seminary. And out of the clear blue sky, she drops this bomb on me. I was fuming! I stormed down the stairs to the basement of our house. After shutting myself into a room I said, "God, do I have a pride issue?" 

Wife 1
Husband 0

This lesson has stuck with me ever since. I realized quickly that the best way to respond to criticism is to evaluate it. We are so quick to:

• Deny the claim
• Disregard the person
• Drag up the critic's issues

But what if we really stopped to look at ourselves? Maybe the criticism was a bit sharper than it needed to be, but does it have merit? If after prayer and pondering you determine that it doesn't, then throw it away. But if you determine it does, you must be willing to change. 

Just last week, a member of my church came with a stinging criticism of an area of my ministry. As I listened, I realized that while the criticism was harsh, I hadn't done everything that I could in that area. The next day I wrote this church member a note expressing my thanks for all their previous encouragement, my assurances that I would work on the areas that had been brought up, and asking forgiveness for my role in the situation.

And yesterday, that church member was waiting for me. They quickly and sincerely apologized for the manner in which they had spoken and asked my forgiveness. Not only have we repaired the relationship, but some good came out of this person's criticism, sharp as it was.

So don't disregard criticism...evaluate it. Sometimes it will be offered as constructive criticism, and sometimes as destructive criticism. Be sure in every instance that you pray and ponder whether there is truth in it, regardless of the way in which it is given.