How do I comfort someone whose deceased loved one was an unbeliever?
Recently the Pope was faced with a heart-wrenching question from a young boy. The child's repeated attempts to voice his question were quickly overcome by tears. Finally, Pope Francis called the child forward and encouraged him to whisper the question in his ear as the boy hugged him tight. After a few private moments Pope Francis shared the question:
"My dad was an atheist. Is He in Heaven?" (Here is the video link: https://usat.ly/2r209qa)
The boy shared that his dad was a good man and even had all four of his children baptized. Pope Francis agreed the boy's father had been a good man and then answered his question:
"God, faced with a dad who was an unbeliever but had his four children baptized, do you think that God would be capable of leaving that man far from Him? No."
A large crowd was present and was encouraged by Pope Francis to also shout, "NO!" The video has gone viral, allowing every viewer to be condemned by an act of comfort. Thousands have heard of salvation not through Jesus, but through personal goodness.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17
John 3:17 is my favorite verse because people usually respond, "Don't you mean John 3:16?" I appreciate that it pushes back against those who say salvation only through Jesus excludes people. Listen:
Without Jesus there was NO WAY to Heaven.
With Jesus there is ONE WAY to Heaven.
I prefer the second option. Telling people that Jesus is the only way IS a loving act.
I empathize with this difficult question Pope Francis faced. I've performed many funerals for people who had no testimony of Christ, and yet their families spoke of them as if they were clearly in Heaven. How does a Christian approach this?
1) Don't presume.
Max Lucado encourages us to remember that in the same way the thief on the cross accepted at the very end of his life, so may have this seemingly lost family member. Perhaps they cried out to Jesus in their final moments. We don't treat all people as saved, but we don't presume to absolutely know.
2) Display the love of God.
Jesus wept with people who were hurting. Regardless of their beliefs, we can still encourage people to hold to those good memories and even be ready to share those stories with family they never had the chance to meet.
3) Point the person to Jesus.
I know one thing is true of every person who dies: If they were standing before their loved ones they would say, "Eternity is real." We can't do anything for the soul that is gone, but we still have a chance with the soul that stands before us. So share the love of Jesus and salvation of Jesus that is available to every person.
When people are hurting, be a comfort. But don't condemn someone by false comfort that fails to share the truth. Be a person who expresses truth and love side-by-side.
